The world keeps on turning no matter what I do to try and stop it.  I have kicked and screamed.  I have pleaded with the universe.  I have hoped for a miracle.  All to no avail.  My fate is inevitable.  I will be sentenced as a criminal and "tainted" for life by the experiences I have endured throughout this process.

A wise man once said, "Fate is seldom wrong," but I must say that I am fearful for what it may bring to my life as I go before the courts to receive my sentencing for providing medical cannabis to patients in California.  I am scared to find the answer that I truly do not want to know.  What will be my punishment?  Will I be dragged away from my family and imprisoned for my acts of compassion?  Will my children be forced to move away from their lives in order to sustain while I am away?  Will I be placed in a facility close enough to visit them?  Do I even want them to visit me in a place surrounded by razor wire and armed guards?  Have I made a terrible mistake that will scar my family's future forever?  These are the thoughts that I stay up thinking about night after night.

I am a true believer in my cause and refuse to regret one day of my life.  I am a person who is passionate and caring, and I believe my actions were noble and justified.  I can wish that things were different and wish that destiny had chose an easier path for myself and my family, but I know that there are certain forces at play that have given me this challenge to use as a tool for learning and growth.  It is often difficult to see the path fate chooses when in the midst of chaos and turmoil, but we must have faith that this too shall turn out to be a positive experience in some way.

It is difficult to give up control and realize that fate, destiny, or whatever is just bigger than my small little place in history.  To understand that our experiences are what makes us who we are and to embrace both the positive and the negative experiences as building blocks of my life allows me to free myself from the anger, frustration, and disappointment of my current situation.  No, I cannot stop the world from spinning and each day that passes brings me one step closer to my appointment with fate.  I shall embrace the future for whatever it may bring and hope that destiny shines down upon me for just one short day of justice.