I go to sleep every night thinking this will be the last night I have to stay in the HWH. I am still hopeful that something in the universe will give and that the powers at be will come to their senses and send me home to raise my kids and love my wife. Not a day goes by that I do not read a story in the press about the ever-growing acceptance to cannabis. Everyday there is a report about the ongoing call for legalization. I think, geez...someone has got to look into freeing all of the folks that are unjustly held in prisons and confined away from society for the use of this plant. How can the judge that sentenced me look around at what is happening, the momentum of it all, and not think that maybe she made a mistake. Maybe she sent an innocent man to be punished for a crime he did not commit.

I submitted my commutation request about a year ago. I keep believing that any day now I am going to get the call that Obama decided to do the right thing and pardon people caught in this battle between state and federal law. Still nothing. In fact, they have yet to issue a pardon to anyone for anything. They must be trying to set a record or something. One of the most important aspects of the President's job is to pardon people who have been unjustly harmed by failed policies of the past. It is a duty that is given to him to ensure that tyranny does not overcome reason in this country. This responsibility has yet to be fulfilled.

I am now to a point in my sentence where I realize that the road ahead is still long, but that the road behind me will never be reclaimed. That these two months away from my children will never be repaid to me. That even when history reflects the greatness of this movement that the many folks who have lost our freedoms in this fight will never get that time back. Yet we press on. It is maddening to be confined in a time where cannabis medicines are widely distributed in every corner of the state and where organizations advertise that they "conspire to manufacture and distribute marijuana" just like I am locked up for. It is nuts. 

But I keep on keeping on. One foot in front of the other. Breathing deeply. Making progress. Working through it. Looking towards the future to when this is all just a distant memory. To when I will enjoy eating out again instead of eating out everyday because I have to. Days where I will wake up to my children climbing on me and snuggling. I look forward to rebuilding and to regaining my strength an confidence. Those days are coming. Whether 10 days or 10 more months, I am ready for this to be in the past and for life to resume. One day the feds will be in my rearview mirror, and this time not because they are following me....

My writing here has made some who work at the Halfway House uncomfortable and this has led to them not wanting to interact or address my needs and concerns. I understand this and respect their right to do their job without feeling like the whole world is watching. I know this is just a simple personal blog of my experiences mostly read by my friends, families, and supporters, but my postings here are also looked at by officials in the system and others, so to avoid further issue, my postings here will be limited to my experiences with my family on visits and in the community or issues concerning cannabis medicines in general. There is not much to talk about at the Halfway House anyway, as they are just people trying to do their job and most have treated me with a great deal of respect, which I appreciate. To those that were alarmed by my previous posting, it has been redacted and will not be reposted. Sorry for the confusion:). I often write here my feelings to share my experiences in this struggle. In the future I will express those concerns elsewhere if need be where Cornell is concerned. Thank you for your understanding.