The day has come to face the music, as they say. My uneasiness from the unknowing will be gone in a short few hours and I will be dealing with the aftermath of a long and exhausting battle with justice.  I will know what the future looks like more clearly and for better or worse, at least I will know where I stand.  This brings me some comfort.

I am not in fear of going to prison. It would be disappointing and a more uncomfortable experience for my wife and young children than myself. We would be forced to pack up our home for the second time in a year and move my unknowing children to another state to live in a small 2 bedroom house with my wife's father and stepmother. It would be a tremendous burden on my family, as well as their lives. I will have to figure out what a proper excuse to tell my five-year-old is for my absence in his life. That is the most trying part. Feeling the guilt of letting down my family through all of this has been the most difficult aspect of it all. I am a strong person, but they do not deserve this.

I often think of the improbable circumstances that brought me into this movement and wonder how things got to this point?  How is it that medical cannabis in California has grown from a few dispensaries mostly located just a few blocks from where I will be sentenced, to hundreds of outlets for safe access and hundreds of thousands of patients in harms way? Why did the government turn a blind eye for so long and why do they still practice selective enforcement procedures to this day? It creates a sense of false security in places and leaves good people with good intentions to be prosecuted at will, like fish in a barrel.

I will accept my sentence today joyfully, and understand that I am capable of handling whatever it may be. I hope that the court will find leniency in their sentencing and understand the unique circumstances that make up my particular situation. It is relatively out of my hands at this point and I can only hope for common sense to make an appearance on my behalf. I can hope that locking up a young father who is the sole provider for his family for making safe and effective non-smoked cannabis based medicine is not in the best interest of justice and morality. We shall see.

I thank everyone who has supported us along this journey and I am deeply grateful for the friends and family that will stand by me on this day of judgement. Knowing you are not alone is comforting when facing a tough situation. I am blessed to be surrounded by great people. We, as a community, will meet our collective fate today and understand more clearly the consequences for using cannabis as a medicine. No matter what happens to me, this movement will never die and we will never rest until state sovereignty is respected and every patient has access to clean and safe medicine. This aggression will not stand.

I would like to also say thank you to my co-defendants who have stood bravely in the face of turmoil and represented clearly the morals and values of Tainted Compassion. I am sorry that the three of you had to go through this and it was never my intention to have your life's intertwined in this madness. I hope that you all can hold your heads high and know that you are not criminals. I miss greatly the time we spent working for social change and I hope that the future is bright for each and every one of you. You have a special place in my heart. I cannot thank you enough for your hard work and dedication to this cause. It will never be forgotten.

Yes. Today is Judgement Day for myself and Jessica Sanders. I have come to a place of acceptance and understanding. This situation can only get the better of me if I allow it to. I will not. I can not. I deserve better. My family deserves better. This movement deserves better. I stand proud today as a member of a community filled with love and compassion. Our non-violent call for social change is being heard and I am thankful for the progress that has been made. There is still a lot of work to do. But whoever said this would be easy anyways? May we all walk tall today.