I look back over this past eleven months, since I received the fateful call that we had been violently raided by Drug Enforcement Agents, and I think about the incredible odds that we have overcome thus far and the excruciating experiences we have had to endure. It is disheartening to say the least, but worth closer examination for history's sake.

• Initial news reports began running on September 26th that were based on senseless lies and accusations from a DEA affidavit that was filled with hearsay from a paid informant
• Jessica Sanders dog was shot twice in the process of executing a search warrant, as DEA agents failed to secure the animal with proper animal control techniques 
• Our facilities were destroyed, as DEA agents took pride in tearing fixtures from their secured locations, made large stacks of perishable food products on the floor, and turned several personal residences upside down with disrespect and disdain
• A worldwide media frenzy ensued, with our story being covered on every major news source in America and abroad.  The message was that we were basically child molesters that needed to be stopped before our food products got into the hands of children on Halloween
• I spent eight days in great fear of my families well-being, as I negotiated my self surrender on October 4th, 2007 
• All of my co-defendants were forced to post bond and move in with family members, giving up their autonomy, succumbing to random drug testing, and surrendering their liberty
• My family was forced to move from our house, take our son out of pre-school, and I was also forced to surrender my liberty and freedom
• My mother, whom I provided care-giving resources to, was forced to put her home up for bond and move into an assisted living facility, as I could no longer afford to help her out
• I was given two basic choices regarding the legal matters. One was to accept a guilty conviction for my role in providing food-based medicines and hope the sentencing Judge would be lenient, or face a grand jury indictment that would bring charges that carried a mandatory minimum of ten years, and could possibly lead to the prosecution of other friends and family members who knew me.  Knowing I could not present the truth at trial and speak of the medical nature of our journey or let a jury know that our products were only distributed to patients with recommendations from their doctors to use cannabis, I could not risk raising my children from a prison visiting room for a decade. I accepted a plea deal on March 26th, 2008.
• I have spent months in counseling and treatment for depression and anxiety.  I have been prescribed three different medications to help with my emotional state and still have not found a combination of medicine as effective as cannabis was for my conditions.  I have now been prescribed a second anti-depressant, bringing chemical toxicity to a level that makes me uncomfortable. I now feel addicted to these brain changing medications, and fear what will happen if I quit taking them.
• I am I a financial crisis that has my net worth at negative $150,000, not including the IRS and legal fees I still owe.  I have been unable to find steady work, due to my need to meet with counselors weekly, pre-trial workers regularly, probation interviews, legal meetings, and my current health issues.
• I have become extremely paranoid and live in constant fear that I am being followed or surveilled.  This is a direct product of pages of evidence of people following me for over two years and documenting me getting coffee and seeing my friends.  I do not leave my house much if I do not need to. The paranoia factor is usually not worth the hassle.  I have become somewhat agoraphobic.
• My family has been exhausted by this situation and live in fear of the future.  I must overcome these fears and still put on a happy face for my young children and wife.  We have contingency plans to move the wife and kids in with family and be dependent upon family members that are already stretched thin and live on disability. It is demoralizing to feel that you are powerless in providing for your family.
• I am physically and mentally exhausted by this process.  Whether it be the barrage of medication, or the stress of dealing with the legal system, or the overwhelming fear of damaging your family's future, this process has given me more grey hairs than I would like to admit.  I look forward to concluding this episode and getting back to the basic worries of life, like bills and what to make for dinner.

These are just some of the major battles I have faced thus far, and I have yet to even be sentenced and given my punishment from the courts.  I often wonder if these outlying factors ever weigh in on the decision made by the court, as a person is decimated in public and has their inalienable rights alienated and their liberties removed.  Jessica nor I will be able to get a student loan to help further our education. Neither of us will be able to vote for the first black presidential candidate.  I am not much into guns, but I will not be able to get one should I ever change my mind.  The list goes on and you just wonder when is enough enough.  But for a government agency like the DEA, too much is never enough, as they continue to lobby for our incarceration and continue to dissolve State sovereignty with their violent raids in our peaceful community.  We continue to see logical legislation fail, as legislators are pressured by lobbying groups and fear being seen as weak on drugs.  There seems to be no end to the madness, as other compassionate providers are being sentenced to mandatory minimum sentences and the jails continue to fill with non-violent offenders and medical marijuana patients and providers.  Yes.  Too much is never enough when you are talking about the failed missions of the war on drugs.  We can never spend enough money investigating, prosecuting, and incarcerating users of cannabis.  It is just too lucrative, and so the beat goes on.