forgotten

It is a strange sensation to watch as your involvement in the community dissipates and you seemingly become somewhat forgotten. There was a time when I was surrounded by activists and friends all day every day and I often wondered if i would ever get a break. Well be careful what you wish for. Now I sit here often wondering if the majority of the people in this movement have forgotten the dedication and quality service we provided on a regular and consistent basis. Long gone are "close friends" and "brothers" that stood by us when things were okay. The DEA has instilled such fear into the people close to us that they no longer call, so-called brothers have uprooted and moved away with not so much as a goodbye, and the friends I depended on have left for higher ground. It is such a bright spot in my day when a fellow activists does pick up a phone and reaches out to let me know things will be okay, but honestly, I have a hard time seeing how. I have the DEA, US Attorneys, and the IRS so far up my ass that I am turning to Valium to cope with the daily stresses. All of it adds up. It takes its toll on my family, my health and my progress. I seem to take one step forward and three steps back these days. I am losing my mind, and for what? Making medicinal pot brownies for sick people? The US Attorney for the Northern District released a statement last week regarding medical cannabis and how pursuing the issue would be like "throwing sand into the tide." That is wonderful, but what does that mean for me? Does that mean I will be one of the last people to face the wrath of a harsh prison system for my belief, my right, and my need to use medical cannabis. I wonder if anyone even cares. I somewhat feel abandoned, as my legal bills pile up, my regular bills pile up, and my life spirals into inevitable bankruptcy unless something happens quick. I am not one to be cynical, but I cannot help feeling that this community has forgotten us. I have asked for simple testimonials to help with our plight at sentencing, and thus far only 18 people have even bothered to respond. It is frustrating when you think of all of the people you have generously laid down your freedom to help. You wonder if people understand your plight. Maybe it is just not clear. Tainted/Compassion NEVER made a lot of money and no-one has a dime left over. Chances are I will go to jail without a penny to leave for my wife and kids to survive on in my absence. We will be forced to pack up and move her and the kids to live with one of her parents, most likely far away from where I will be incarcerated. I would be lying to you if I said I did not fear the future. We dedicated our lives to forwarding the medical cannabis movement. We invested every penny into upgrading our facilities to laboratory conditions, brought on the most professional staff we could find, continuously developed our products to be more professional and consistent, and always gave back to the community. And for what? Had I known that when the shit went down we would be left virtually abandoned by most of the people we spent our tireless days and nights to help I think I would have done things differently or maybe not at all. Do not get me wrong. There have been a few GREAT people that have supported us through all of this, but surprisingly enough they are not the people we thought they would be. We wonder if this is just the cold hard facts of life and when it is all said and done DID WE REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE AT ALL? Well, I still am proud of what we were able to accomplish. I guess all I can really ask of people is to not forget us. That is what we fear the most.